Failing Up

Failing is fun! Well, the right kind of failing is fun. I enjoy trying something out, failing hard, and then learning from it. But I wasn’t always like that.

You see, like every other conservatory trained musician, I’m a  crazy perfectionist. Which is pretty stupid for someone in the arts, when you think about it. There is no possible way to perform something “perfectly” because so much of what we do is completely subjective to that particular audience on that particular day under those particular conditions. Who can honestly say whether your interpretation of the flute solo from Daphnis et Chloe was performed “perfectly”? 

(Fun fact: this is one reason why I stopped auditioning for orchestras. I think performing a tiny excerpt “perfectly” is stupid. And even though that’s the way it’s always going to be I can’t turn my mind off about the stupidity of the situation which is why I will ultimately not win the audition. But I digress…)

Well, also because I can’t keep my big mouth shut and just respect the conductor already.

In the Classical European Arts communities, teachers impart this expectation of perfection on their students and the good students soak that up and carry it on to the next generation. Let me clarify for a moment: It’s not a bad thing that we have high expectations of ourselves! We absolutely should strive to get all the notes and choreography and words correct in a performance! We should always play in tune, be in time with our fellow dancers, and hit all our marks onstage! 

It’s not the high expectations of performance that bother me. It’s the unwillingness to try something outlandish in rehearsal that I’m referring to.

Let me explain.

So often a student will play exactly what’s on the page and no more. There’s not much humanity or personal agency in that. What does that particular student bring to this music? That’s where I try to encourage students to try something. Try anything. And not be afraid to fail. It’s the practice room! Add a crescendo where there isn’t one! Try something without vibrato! Let the rhythm fall forward or pull back! 

Have fun with trying new interpretations.

I find that so many students have a hard time doing this because they don’t want to be “wrong” or sound “bad”. But unless we try something so hard that we go too far, we may never be able to find the line of what works and what doesn’t. And sometimes when we try something outlandish just for fun, we find a little nugget of a great idea buried amongst what didn’t work. 

So, my friends. I would like to encourage you all to try something new! And try it so whole-heartedly that you FAIL. But then learn from this failure and try again with that new information. I call it “failing up.”